Those who sow in tears
shall reap with shouts of joy!
He who goes out weeping,
bearing the seed for sowing
shall come home with shouts of joy,
bringing his sheaves with him.
(Psalm 126:5-6 ESV)
Much about this world is counterintuitive. God is coy like that.
In the valley of despair, all seems lost. We return over and over to that which makes us sad, hurt, or angry. Our thoughts seem to be hemmed in, and they move ever toward what causes us pain. This seems to be part of the grieving process, to fully realize what happens to us so we can deal with it. You have to go there before you can move on, it seems.