A Truth So Deep You Can't Explain It
If someone were to ask me why I am I Christian, I could give several answers. I could explain the historical validity of the Bible, I could argue the necessity for a creator in this beautifully complicated world, or I could share my testimony. All valid.
The truth of the matter is that if I really spoke from my heart, I'd want to tell them how I know because, well, I know. I know Jesus more intimately than I know anyone or anything, yet I've never met him. It is hard to explain. You see, I know him down deep within my soul - and words don't come easy from there.
David was a powerful king. He commanded armies and reigned over a kingdom. As a king, he had the freedom to do as he pleased. And this got him in trouble. It would get any of us in trouble, as we'd have the ability to let our sinful hearts come out and play. Anyway, you may know the story: David sees a hot woman bathing and he sends for her. She comes to him and they sleep together. Her name is Bathsheba.
David knew what he did was wrong. He laments his sin in Psalm 51. And as he laments, right around the middle of the Chapter, he says this:
Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being, and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart. (Psalm 51:6)
David feels a deep guilt in his bones. It's way down in there in his secret heart, the place where our true identity lies. Where our hopes lie, our dreams lie, and, let's be frank, where our darkness lies. David wants purification and wisdom to sink down deep in his spirit.
He wants God to touch his secret heart, because God is the only one who knows how to reach it. God can speak truth to the inward being in a place where it's hard to reach but beautiful to find.
David goes on:
Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. (Psalm 51:10)
The blood of Christ permeates all the way down to the seat of our souls, to our secret hearts. It cleanses us from within. That is what David wanted - and needed. It is what we all need and want.
It is a refreshing purification which allows the spirit to breathe again, the tension of our sinful tyranny releasing into the mighty hands of God. I struggle to explain it. It is truth at the root of truth. It is love at the root of love. It is a truth so deep I can't adequately explain it, but it's the best thing I've ever experienced and I will delight in it forever.