There was a time in my life when I was moving toward atheism. I recall two periods actually, one when I was around 13 and one when I was in college. The former was just adolescent nonsense that didn’t last long, and the latter was a period of genuine doubt.
The reason I know I had genuine doubt is because it was involuntary. That is, I didn’t want to doubt. But I had questions about the existence of God and the church that I couldn’t answer, despite the fact that I was looking for answers.
The answers found me.